Friday, December 12, 2008

More Tebowisms - Tim Tebowism List continues to grow

- The light at the end of the tunnel isn't a freight train, it's Tim Tebow.
- Tim Tebow played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
- The NCAA declared that Tim Tebow may lose his amateur status because he is a professional ass kicker.
- God wanted to create the world in 10 days, Tim Tebow gave him 6.
- Tim Tebow once got Blackjack with one card.
- Tim Tebow's hand is the only hand that beats a Royal Flush.
- Life doesn't give Tim Tebow lemons. Life asks him which fruit he wants.
- When you open a can of whoop-ass, Tim Tebow jumps out.
- Tim Tebow can eat just one Lay's Potato Chip. Don't tell Tim what he can't do.
- Tim Tebow played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
- It takes Tim Tebow 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
- Tim Tebow doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
- Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined 'victim' as 'one who has encountered Tim Tebow
- Tim Tebow' house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
- When Tim Tebow was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he threw a football at the store so hard it became a Wendy's.
- When Tim Tebow calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
- If it looks like beef, smells like beef, and tastes like beef, but Tim Tebow says it’s chicken. You better believe its chicken.
- Tim Tebow loves women. All of them. At the same time.
- Tim Tebow pummels that bridge when he gets to it.
- Tim Tebow laughs when you hit him in the funnybone.
- Tim Tebow can be at two places at once.
- Tim Tebow doesn't punch in to work. He stiff arms.
- Before going on stage for his first theatrical role, Tim Tebow was told, "Break a leg." The entire cast was carted to the hospital minutes later.
- Mit Wobet was the first man to spell his name backwards.
- Tim Tebow wrote a book called "The Tim Tebow Experience". Readers opened the book and received a pop-out stiff arm to the face.
- Tim Tebow can eat five times his body weight in tigers.
- Tim Tebow won the Tour de France on a unicycle to prove to Lance Armstrong it wasn't a big deal. He thinks yellow wristbands are gay.
- Tim Tebow could drink 24 gallons of milk in an hour without throwing up if wanted. He chooses not to because the calcium would make his bones so strong he would instantly kill anyone he touched.

For the original Tebowisms list - visit

1 comment:

antiTimmy said...

You stupid motherFer. I hope Chuck roundhouses your a$$ for stealing these. Timmy still hasn't cured cancer and one day he'll get his and this bullsh!t will stop. Why hasn't he gone to the NFL?